Think too Much

Sometimes, i really feel that i am thinking too much.

But yet cant do anything about it.

Cant let myself too free, must do something to keep my brain busy.

Or else it will start to think silly things, ha...

Fighting with Loneliness

It is kind of weird,

but i am affected by the impact of it quite badly at night recently.

Knowing the source of it, most likely is being too bored, no school, no job, no project.

So am reading quite a few books concurrently to diverse my attention.

But still, at night it doesnt work.

I keep thinking of some people at night nonstop.

Hai, why am i cant keep my emotion stable..

Knowing how the feeling works doesnt mean you can fight with your own feeling logically.

That's also why psychiatrist can go mad sometimes, hahahaaa...

周蕙 Chou Huei

Just bought this piece of cd at gramophone,

after having dinner with jenny, syn & her bf.

Simply love it.

It sounds better than the previous album.

There is a song 04. "Complicated", first time when i listen to it, i feel it is really so so.

But the more i listen, the more i like the song. I dont really know how to explain it. Although i still dont really like the music, lolx.

That's just one of the many songs which i like.

The disk is worth listening. =D

- - - - -

Joke like crazy today.

It has been quite long since i did laugh so much.

But what's left after all the laughing?...

- - - - -

As i am listening to the music, dont know why it makes mi to think of what happened 8 years back.

God damn... I still dont know what is right or wrong.

Or rather, i dont know what's good or bad, for myself...

Life is rather funny, in some way or another.

It's a joke, haa...

Had a Chat with My Aunt

Talk to my aunt for few hours on tuesday.

On quite a lot of things from micro to macro perspective.

Hai, she is the third person saying the same thing to mi.

Accurately pointing out my strength as problem, ha...

Guess not many people know how bad the impact is..

Haahaaaaa......

Holiday is a Time of Self Reflection

I would stay alone (for a while) in two occasion.
New Year and Holiday.

Spend some time with myself.

Think about some goal that i wanna achieve in this acad year, and conclude the targets which i have achieved or missed for the year.

Did quite badly this semester.
In term of academic, really really disappointing.

It is about my priority, emotional handling, and time management.

My target will be absolute result oriented in this upcoming semester, in order to recover the lost gpa.

Still thinking how to tune my physical and emotion.

My backache is quite bad at the second sem, the fucking doctor at cgh still say it's ok, hai... It makes mi quite emo sometime... -_-!

Need to allocate more time to swim,

and reduce dinner with friends..

During NS, i was telling a lot of people that i am gonna to find a gf when i enter uni, hahaaa...

I guess it is becoming a joke to mi now. There are hardly anyone attracting in computer engine (ok, or i should say hardly anyone attracts mi.. XD )

And i know how a school train an engineer, it is done by complete brain washing.

So when you walk, talk, sleep or even dreaming, all logic and maths come in automatically to guide your thinking.

It supposes to be a serious post, wtf...

Okie, i joke too much, ha...

- - - - -

Read a friend's blog.

Wanna to say something...

In a relationship, it is not supposed to be tactical.

You are not fighting your partner, nor being a spy collecting information, nor being a psychiatrist who wanna to find out what's wrong with him/her.

The basic element of all relationship, is trust.

If trust is not there, spend some time to build it up before getting into it..

I know it is kind of funny for mi to say this kind of things when i have not even have a single experience toward this kind of things.

But... i just feel, human should be treated this way...

Somehow...

Primary School Classmates Gathering in Hong Kong

Well, all thanks to facebook.
Found quite a number of long lost friends in primary school there.

The last time i met with them was like, around 7~8 years ago?...
Then after ICQ is faded out, all contact gone. Haai...

And now we are some how connected back again while facebook.
Technology connects people, i dont like nokia's phone but i do like their ad, ha..

Tung Ping Chau

It is a reserved island in Hong Kong.
Unlike ocean park or disney, tourist hardly know how to get to this place.

It only open on weekend, so if you miss the ferry on sunday, you have to eat grass till next week before a ferry will take you back. lolx...

Well, on this island, the most meaningful things on this island is the rocks, they are make of some calcium composite, and when the calcium corroded by the sea water, lots of holes appear.

Errrrr... I am not a good student on geography, if interested, please googles it :P

Food!

Well, as a milk tea freak, how can i miss the milk tea in the region, haa...
This is the milk tea in Hong Kong mac, you can control how sweet you want it to be by adding the liquid sugar yourself. I always add up to 40% of the the liquid given in order to get the sensation from the taste of the tea. XD

Breakfast~~~

The ultra soft and smooth dou-fu-far (in Cantonese term)
what is dou-fu-far ?

This is the famous shop~

This is... i dont know how to describe it, first time eating this.
It tastes not bad, but the combination is weird, lolx..

Hanging around in China

Went to China for a few times, hanging around the region which is near to Hong Kong.
Well, most of the time were spent on computer / electronic components.

Spent a day in Guangzhou, met my poly friends who has gone to China to learn Chinese.
At least now she can speak, although cant really read and write properly, haa....

This is the one of the train station that connects different cities.
Guangzhou station~

Their underground station~

I had not seen her face to face for around a year i guess.
The last time met her was in Changi Airport T3, if my memory is correct, haa!

This building looks cool, but...
Honestly, i dont know what's it..

One of the regional library in China

Computer, Future, World, and mi

Wanna talk a bit of history of how i learnt computer in the past.

It is kind of funny to most of yours, may be.

As my secondary school is very near to the bigger computer and electronic shopping center, almost everyday i would go there to have a walk before i walk home.

My school was very supportive on computing, so information about motherboard, CPU, ram, hard disk, etc. were easily available. I read nearly all of them. Mind you, i did not have a chance to touch a computer yet. That's was my secondary one.

I joined school library, as a librarian, i faced book everyday, so books to mi is just like friends. Basically i just took whatever information available to mi. Coz i hate school books, it is really too boring.

So, before i finally had my first computer, i knew about the relationship between CPU clock speed, FSB, PCI freq, memory bandwidth, latency, hard disk rpm, cache, IDE, etc... But i still didn't know how to operate a computer, coz i didn't have one.

And, finally, at the end of secondary one, i got my first computer, i can still remember the windows 95 screen vividly. And my learning start to go practical.

- - - - -

In the past, there is nothing so automatic like today's computer.

Whatever the speed you want the computer to run, you have to put the jumper to short two pins, in order for the computer to know what frequency you want it to run at.

When you wanna get the CDrom working, oh please, write your batch script to tell the operating system where the hell is the driver. Hard disk? No kidding, patter, head, etc... all those have to set in BIOS even before you start installing OS.

Nowadays, it's nearly all automatically done for you, unless you wanna overclock it, else all you need to do is to plug in all components and power supply, and it's ready.

In near future, you can see more integration, such as graphic card, north bridge and south bridge chipset merging with CPU, like an embedded system. As chips are getting more and more powerful, you simply need lesser components to get a system working, if you are not choosy.

With cloud, or home cloud computing, and extreme fast broadband your mobile phone can yield the power of the desktop to do what you need them to do, in a matter of mini second.

I was joking with my friends, well, may be very soon, our computer are like Lego toy, so idiot proof that no matter how you plug them together, it will automatically route the wire connector to connect themselves properly. And once the toy is within the range of power charging point, it will automatically find the network and connects to your home server, and starts working.

- - - - -

All the above will eventually happen, if and only if, we don't destroy ourselves in our lifetime.

By war, environmental degradation (green house effect, pollution), energy starvation, or whatever means which human is capable of.

Sometimes, i feel, the problem is not with how fast we are developing our world but how fast we are destroying our world, in the form of development.

Obama is on the right path, if he can push the policy through. Hai.

In my opinion, Bush and Bush Jr are both disastrous to mankind.

They are comparable to the N. Korea leader.

Push countries into war, use nuclear to threaten others, don't give a damn to economics, and many others. Are they actually doing the same thing if you filter our the nice packaging of the media?

I didn't realise political is so important till Bush administration.

When it quit the Kyoto Protocol, i was like "omg, what the hell is he doing??"

- - - - -

Er...... i was saying too much unrelated crapz above.

Ya, that's part of the things i am thinking recently.

Currently reading a book by Jeffrey D. Sachs - Common Wealth, Economics for a Crowded Planet.

Still haven't finished the whole book, but it makes mi think quite a lot about the world.

- - - - -

I am a Computer Engineer student, an Engineer.

It doesn't mean i don't give a damn to the world.

I do.

I care.

Days After I Come Back to SG

Doing nothing.

That's the summary of my life after coming back from Hong Kong.

Sleep till afternoon, wake up,

online/read book till 5am, sleep.

It is really messed up.

But besides online, nothing much can be done, it seems.

Sometimes dont even have the mood to go for coffee.

Hai.

Need few more days to adjust may be...

reply to a msg..

i am a comp engine student, play with computer for around 10 years, not really intelligent, just have lots of passion in computing.

data security is always an issue, or rather a problem, even for professional. sometimes it just don't work even u back them up twice, lolx...

the most important issue for mi is, when i am having school, when laptop is attacked by virus, unlimited blues from ms, or may be harddisk get corrupted, damaged, or even whole computer is being stolen, how fast i can resume my normal usage? it has been always a problem.. i do it with ghost and portable harddisk for data backup and system mirror.

Ha, beginning few years with computer, computer is always a friend of mine. learnt quite a lot together with it. i have always associate computing theory with philosophy. how a network operate should some how evolve from how human interact with each other, for example (but it is not always true/applicable :P )

At the stage now, computer is more like a toy. it makes no different for 100 points in 3D marks to mi, compare to the time when i just started playing with computer. i would rather spend more time to ensure my system is up and safe than to optimise the system for performance.

- - - - -

As for my new toy...
The keyboard is ultra reflective, and fingerprint attractive too...

Besides, 1.8 inch hard disk is really a pain. Wish to upgrade it when SSD (mine is 1.8in ZIF) drops a bit more.

There is still quite a lot to be done on how windows can work with SSD effectively. I guess, by then, the price should be stablized too.

Installed windows 7 RC, it has obvious speed different as compare to the pre-installed vista. However, some driver not updated and cant be used still...

But as the harddisk is really too slow, i would rather get the performance than have all the driver working, haa.....

Some Random Thought of China

Warning: Some bullshit from my brain, directly......

This time, i think i have updated quite a lot on china's current issues.

It is growing faster than my imagination.

Went to ShenZhen and GuangZhou.

On the hardware aspect, they have changed massively.

However, software, the people,

still have quite a long way to go...

There are still quite a lot of internal problems within China.

Mainly related to social and political.

However, on the economic and infrastructure aspect,

they have done quite a lot, when compare to other developing countries.

They still need to do quite a lot to the education,

especially on social responsibility, in order to avoid future problems.

Social ethics, environment sustainability and law,

these are the main three area of focus, i feel they need to address on, base on the visit this time.

The first problem i have when i step into China is, the air.

It is a general signification of environment problem, on air, land and sea.

There is a distinctive different between China and Singapore in term of air quality, it is going to create some social related problem, due to inaccessible health care (financially due to huge income gap) to the poors.

The environment (and health too!) problem is mainly caused by extreme profit driven business practise.

It is hard to avoid at this stage, before the law and social ethics (also education) can catch up with the economic progress.

When comparing the developed countries such as US, EU, or asian countries like Japan, the law in China is rather primitive, especially on the part of law enforcement.

Most of the social unrest in China are due to improper (or illegal) law enforcement practise by the local enforcer. It is most likely going to continue within this five to ten years.

Still, it has been doing quite a lot, but modifying the law alone will not be able to change the fundemental of the issue, which is political...

On the ethical side, i guess it needs to get most of the people out of poverty line before the government can do anything effective...

It is hard to ask those people who earn just around the poverty line, to be socially responsible. That's the worker class......

Those are the source of foods' safety problem, such as the well known milk issue.

Honestly, i feel even a chemist in my uni may not be able to think of such creative use of that chemical.....

The extreme poor (thus extreme profit driven), met with improper law/law enforcement, are the root of those issues.

Hope the government will have the political will to deal with all those problem.

Wish next time when i visit China, it will become a better state, haa....

Back to Singapore

Back to Singapore on Monday afternoon.

Didn't do much things since then.

Adjusting myself emotionally, and thermally.

Back to reality, haaa.....

Had dinner and lunch (on next day) with my mum's dumpling.

Super lazy to go out (and the dumpling is super delicious too :D )..

Dinner, went out for a proper meal.

Actually not really proper, just find something solid to fill my stomach.

Called a few person tonight, but seems all are quite busy with their work.

Hard to find time, haa...

Still thinking how to kill my time tomorrow...

Most likely with a book somewhere outside.

See if u can catch mi in any library or starbucks~

Updates About My Holiday

Most of the time i am out of my house.

Walking around on street.

Been to Tung Ping Chau island,

it is a really remote island that need to take ferry for an hour to reach.

Each day only has very limited ferry goes in.

And a well preserved natural park.

If you have facebook should be able to see some of the photos inside.

- - - - -

Spent most of the time at home on google,

searching about laptop computer.

Finally bought one to replace my 6 years old x31.

And, the one is... Lenovo U110.

Bought at hkd 7980, around sgd 1507.

Come with two years warranty.

Hai, should bring along some super powerful bargain friends with mi next time...

Don't know how to bargain at all -___-!!!

The harddisk is expected to be slow,

and it is really damn slow, lolx...

See when will ssd drop till reasonable price with appropreate size,

i wanna get one but out of budget, hai~

One more year, i guess i will get it, hehe...

Bought a watch too, but compare to the laptop, it is nothing...

- - - - -

Went into China 3 times since 01May till now.

For visiting and "shopping".

Finally get a chance to see my grandma,

spent two days with her.

Glad to see her is recovering,

althought still as forgetful...

She asked my name repeatedly while happily talking to mi on bed, lolx...

Hai, no matter what, just keep smiling..

Besides, also went to shenzhen for computer parts.

Can you believe changing a chipset on mainboard cost only rmb 250?!!!

I guess i get chopped, still,

coz i am not local to them.

However, with this price,

you just can't to do anything with the hardware...

It just too crazy.

- - - - -

Trying to get used to my new toy's keyboard.

It is easier to adapt then i imagine.

But it feels weird that a lenovo product without the red pointer.

It is almost like a trademark, and they forsake it. Hai~

So far, it is still a good machine, extreme light weight.

But black out of stock, end up i get the red edition, damn bright, ha...

Still doing testing, tml will restore to factory default again and create an image of it...

Going to be a freaking long day with the 1.8inch hard disk....... lolx.

Not yet decided whether to use windows 7 RC or not.

A bit scare about the software compatibility issue.

Scare when the new academic year starts, it wont be able to run certain program.

But it is extremely tempting due to its performance, far much better than the visita loaded on this machine.

It will take few days for mi to decide...

Anyway, still need to get it totally backup first before i can play anything.

Busy days ahead...

Life Cycle

Every life has its cycle.

An invisible force that no one can escape.

Just that when different cycles overlaps,

it would be difficult for the current active cycles to accept the ends.

Some how i wonder whether if it would be better if it comes unexpected,

or fade slowly as the nature has scheduled on us?...

It has been quite long since i am emotionally so moved.

Ya, keep smiling ya...

Holiday

Did quite a lot of eating this few days.

Damn, wanna to slim down my tummy a bit before i go hk.

Nevermind, let mi procrastinate and do it in hk =P

Started reading a chinese book about 庄子.

I should say that my philosophy is too far away from him.

But no choice, i still have to complete it, as the book is given by my elder cousin.

Must complete before seeing them, lolx...

- - - - -

Catch up quite a bit of news recently,

get quite pissed off with the aware organisation's new team.

If u have work for an organisation for years voluntarily and whole heartily, and suddenly the door to the organisation is shut despite the pass contribution to it.

What will u feel?

When your years of hardwork, research, peers, all say bye bye to you.

That's simply inhuman.

I don't understand why the hell can the new team do that.

I couldn't imagine when i was in poly, if the photography club house suddenly closed its door for mi, when a new team is just elected. It must be super damn sad...

Hai...

Abusing the name of that religion.

- - - - -

Regarding religion, i am a simply free thinker who are open minded in anything as long as it is logical, making senses.

I just worry about this kind of christian religion extremist, like those in AWARE, will one day form up a military wing, and declare that the whole country/world should be ruled by them, and start eliminating the rest of religion/population.

It is entirely possible if the government don't do anything about it.

- - - - -

The world suppose to be filled with different kind of stuffs,

you cant have a single kind of creature, it is too boring.

That's why besides human, you have all the cute dogs and cats, and at the same time u have irritating bugs and insects. Co-existing together in some way or another.

As for human, it's the same, it is too boring if only one kind of race/religion exists.

Simply impossible, unless you genetically cone everybody out and eliminate everybody else.

Why cant those smart people out there try to communicate and understand each other?

It supposes to be their speciality in communication, in order to help women out there.

And yet they are not communicating, weird isn't it???

- - - - -

Going to Hong Kong really soon.

Still haven't start packing. Lazy sia...

Just booked I P T online,

in jun, the whole month, every week i will be in khatib twice a week, sianz.....

Two years still not enough, what the...

- - - - -

Wish the swine flu wont be widely spread in Asia so soon.

Hai, why every time it come during sch holiday, the bird one was around this time too...

Days After Exam

Free, but a bit empty.
Wanna do something but lazy.

Meet king wai for his bday dinner.
I guess i eat the most of the food...

Coz that was the first meal of the day for mi.
Quite hungry actually, wahhaaaa...

As usual, late night, late sleep, wake up afternoon.
That's my timetable for now, till i go hk on 1may to 25may.

I don't think my mum will allow mi to sleep till noon, lolx...
But that's also good, at least i wont waste my day doing nothing except online...

- - - - -

something for myself:

it is a bit weird at first.
i am lacking confident to myself too.

things seems slightly better now,
i guess i can control myself with the help of clear indication.

thank you.

Today Lunch is... Fuck...

Bought a bowl of noodle, eat half way, around 25%,
then realised that inside the noodle there is a cockroach.

Although it isnt really big, but still, quite scray...
Especially i am damn scare of it...

I just dump the noodle there, then go starbuck for a cup of latte (yes, latte again).
And then start mugging...

Read quite a lot of 202 today, the lecture notes.
Still dont have time to touch the papers.

Dont think will have enough time, hai.
Just read the notes once and go for exam ba...

And for 106.. really can die...
Oh gosh i still cant understand the answers...

As for 201, with the help of the project, i think at least can pass,
even i screw quite a bit of the papers, hai...

One More Day to Exam!!!

One more day to the first paper on wed.

And i am still not ready.

        ∞
mood = ∫(hai)t u(t) dt
       -∞

- - - - -

Think about a lot of things recently.
Mostly on people.

Why the hell my brain is so active on things not related to exam? lolx...
A lot of history are popping up while i am studying alone.

Wish when i am having exam the materials from book will pop up too...
But.. dont think so, hai...

- - - - -

突然很想靜靜的去看海。。。